Fighting like a girl

Have you recovered from the Great Olympic Trans Scare of 2024 yet? Or are you a normal person who doesn’t freak out because some women look slightly different than others?

The Algerian boxer who defeated the Italian one was the stronger fighter in that ring Thursday. That’s not in doubt. What’s also not in doubt is that this Algerian fighter is a woman. That’s what the IOC says and if they clear her to compete as a woman, I’m not sure what gives TikTok influencers who’d sprain both nostrils trying to land a jab on a slug the authority to say that’s wrong.

CBC has a good, informative story here, that includes valuable context. I encourage you to read it.

My first objection to gender testing in sports is that we only do it to “protect” women as though as a group they were entirely and thoroughly unable to agree to the terms of the sports in which they are experts.

Nobody anywhere checks on the men’s competition to ensure no girl sneaks in. Why not? If you’ve never wondered about that question, you are part of the problem.

You think I’m kidding.

The other day I did an afternoon of sparring with a good friend and trainer, a man in his early 30s who’s extremely fit and also obsessed with fighting. He trains and drills every chance he gets. I have not trained seriously in fighting since 2018. I’m 53 and two-thirds and also not a guy. He’s got about three inches and probably close to 40 pounds on me.

I beat his ass.

He jokes that I won 200-6. And I took it easy on him. On me, too — I’ve got a knee that’s bothering me, and I almost didn’t use my legs. I beat him because my punches landed and his didn’t. I guess my training is still paying off.

I’m no longer a world champion but back when I was, I was training with young guys all the time. People who are taller than me, stronger, heavier, faster and also better at fighting. They hit me — hard. A lot. That’s how I got to be so good as to win everything in my divisions. I’m not unique, far from it. In fact the younger women who routinely beat me were also training with guys.

That said, it’s important to ensure competition is fair for everyone. Each federation will make its own rules and that’s as it should be. Personally, in combat sports, I wouldn’t have gender categories. I’d have age/weight/size categories and allow people to punch up — to fight in more difficult divisions should they want. Never punch down.

The thing that gets me the most about all this isn’t the concern for fairness on the part of athletes and the people who care about them. Fairness for everyone — including humans who are intersex or trans — is paramount. Exactly what rules are needed in each sport, I don’t know. But I do know there’s nothing simplistic about any of this.

To cry foul over the presence of “biological males” anywhere near precious weak females is so colossally wrong and stupid it’s probably causing a tear in the space-time continuum.

First of all, what is a “biological male”? Seriously, ask your overnight experts in genetics to define the term precisely. They should be OK to discuss the details of their newfound specialty, right? Boobs, vulvas, testes, and the exact location of the clitoris; none of that should make them uncomfortable.

So, is a “biological male” someone who’s born with a penis? Does the penis need to be at least a certain length and if so what is it? What about testicles? Is one sufficient? Chromosomes? Man boobies? What of humans who are born both with a penis and vulva? Can you be male if you own a cervix? What if your chromosomes are XX and you have all the bits of plumbing typically associated with women but you don’t have visible boobs and you’re also tall and muscular with facial features that aren’t especially delicate. Do people on the internet get to categorize you as a man because your punches are strong?

The human condition is complex and beautifully diverse. Each sport needs to have rules that make sense for competitions that are both exciting and fair to everyone. Maybe one day we’ll learn to play sports and compete happily without having to obsess over what’s in other people’s underwear.

And wouldn’t that be healthy.